Pobody's Nerfect!

           If you were a youth in the 80’s you may remember this bookmark. It was my absolute favorite and had to always be in the book I was reading at the time. I would not read a book without it and my poor father, all the times he was stomach down on the floor looking under a couch or bed; I was stubborn and LOVED this bookmark.

            I have long ago lost this precious piece of my childhood. I think about it all the time when I start a new book and replace my old crumpled Kleenex for a new and improved bookmark tissue.  I didn’t know back then this bookmark would become a symbol of my understanding and acceptance of parenthood. If I practiced yoga this would be my mantra instead of OMmmmmmm.

            After I tell you this story you can laugh OR judge me all you want; I can’t really do much about it; it’s done; happened; can’t go back 15 years; so let’s proceed.

            Baby number one’s homecoming was past the two week mark. I hadn’t left the house, slept or showered and really had no intention of ever doing any of those things ever again. Husband was back at work. It was just me and baby and we had no food in the house; not an egg, or even 2/3 cup of stinky, old milk; nada. I knew it was time.

I looked at the diaper bag – empty – so I filled it. Check.

I looked at myself – oh well – underwear, pajama pants, shirt on backwards, maybe socks (who knows) and shoes. Check.

Car keys, purse – I mean diaper bag with wallet – check.

            I got in the car and headed to the store. It was early December and the air conditioner was on and windows cracked open; hormones - you evil vixen. I turned Laurie Berkner up just a notch and began to relax.  Stopping at a red light I finally took a deep breath; I did it! I was so proud of myself! I would buy good food and while the baby was napping I would get a cookbook out and try to…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

             Mom car turned immediately into Maserati!  I catapulted myself into the house to find my sweet baby happily snuggled up and vibrating in her bouncy seat. I kid you not when I say first I cried for at least an hour, and then I fell asleep as the vibrations made their way through the bouncy seat to wooden kitchen floor; yes, I napped on the floor. I napped the nap of a new mom who, well, I just told you.

Sleep is the sweet nectar of survival –

So please,

Take a nap (preferably in a bed)

Order Chinese

Go grocery shopping tomorrow!

(Or, call me and I will take care of you!)